Meet your sex and intimacy coach

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“I come from a long line of whores.”

This is a joke I’ve made for decades to explain my fervent interest in sexuality. My family was never open about emotions, and discussions about sex were nonexistent. For a queer, undiagnosed neurodivergent teenager with a hyperfixation on all things pleasurable, I found myself navigating a confusing world.

I left home hungry for information. I wanted to discuss sex with everyone. I wanted to explore, experiment, and discover everything I could about the topic that was not to be spoken of. I talked openly about sexuality with friends, acquaintances, coworkers, and dentists. Yes, dentists.

The results were mixed. It turns out, many people are apprehensive to talk about sex. I felt like Bella Baxter in Poor Things. My unabashed interest was frowned upon. I’ve been called blunt, crass, and inappropriate. I began to feel like I was too much and I should stop. Maybe I was making people uncomfortable.

I buried my curiosity deep down and tried to present myself as the closest version of “normal” I could. But then a beautiful thing happened. Slowly, secretly, friends began to come to me about their sexual struggles. In privacy, they opened up about intimacy and unpacked their shame. Witnessing their transformation as they shared their stories, I felt a profound shift, urging me to pursue this path professionally.

It wasn’t until my mid-thirties that several pivotal events catapulted me into becoming a sexologist. I was finally diagnosed as neurodivergent, allowing me to understand that being deeply empathetic, hypersexual, and brazenly analytic were not faults, but powers to be wielded. Embracing my unique brain function and harnessing my sexuality, I discovered the kink community. I flourished in this environment of direct and open communication and found that exploring BDSM and kink helped me reclaim my power and process my trauma.

When I discovered the Somatica Institute and began my training as a sexologist, I felt like a light had been turned on in me. Creating a nonjudgmental, safe space for others to discuss their struggles with intimacy is my true calling.

I went on to deepen my skills and knowledge, becoming a Reiki Master and a Kink-Affirming Professional through the Buehler Institute, which allows me to bring a kink enthusiastic, holistic lens to my work. Whether I’m working with someone exploring their desires for the first time or unpacking years of shame, I meet them with warmth, presence, and zero judgment.

I know what it’s like to feel lost and alone with these issues, and I’m dedicated to changing that. After a rollercoaster marriage, I understand the struggles of poor communication, low desire, and a lost spark. I have navigated the heartbreak of infidelity, the confusion of open relationships, and the frustration of painful intercourse. I’ve spent decades in an exhaustive battle with my mind and I am acutely aware of how much our brains can sabotage our sex lives. I have experienced the incredible benefits of somatic coaching and how important the brain-body connection truly is in intimacy.

I’ve witnessed the transformative power of this work in releasing shame, repairing relationships, and enhancing the sex lives of countless individuals and couples. I am truly grateful to share this knowledge as a sex and intimacy coach and support others on their journey to deeper connection and empowered pleasure.